Totally not counting down

Results you get when checking Amazon for the release date of the next Rivers of London book (which is in like two months!!!111!):

BRAND NEW - HIGH SECURITY CHAIN AND PADLOCK SET - FOR BIKE, MOTORBIKE, MOTORCYCLE, HOME, GARDEN SHED, BROKEN FENCE...

And:

Homefront Slim Pro-V Advanced Unisex Abdominal Abs Toning Belt (NO REPLACEMENT PADS OR GEL REQUIRED EVER)

Thank you Amazon, that's so helpful.